Road Block

Below: J1 taken from the research boat I was helping on. The two paintings below are called Breach for the Sky and A New Hope. The one of the breaching whale, Breach for the Sky, was a gift for my new roomie Sarah. The one of the orca and calf is of J28 and my hope for a new calf.

Everyone told me when I moved out here that it would be a perfect opportunity to “find myself.” I thought this would be exciting, but I never imagined it to be somewhat scary. I guess it’s easy to feel comfortable when your life doesn’t present you with too many forks in the road. It’s easy to know what you want and to feel motivated when the people around you seem complacent. I came out here so sure of myself and now I feel more confused than ever. I’ve spent time working on the research boat and getting close to the whales and it reminds me of my childhood. I was so awestruck by the whales and the ocean and I’m rediscovering the part of myself that I thought I cut ties from years ago. Talking with the people who have dedicated their lives to orca field studies is like reuniting with the curious and adventurous side of myself and I must admit I’m finding that career to be extremely attractive. However, their lifestyles are not so attractive. They move around from couch to couch, town to town, and state to state. I’m the type of person that likes to remain grounded and have a place to call my own. I also want to end up being close to family, which would prove difficult if I was moving around all the time. I know I would love the work, but I would have to sacrifice my ideal lifestyle to enjoy my ideal job. I find myself being pulled in two different directions and I really don’t know which way I’m heading. This whole “finding myself” thing is not at all what I anticipated. I thought I would have some epiphany that would confirm everything I’ve planned on… but I guess I’m learning that not everything follows the plan you have for yourself. I just never expected to enjoy working with the animals as much as I do. My favorite days out here have been working on a boat that scoops up whale poop for goodness sake! I really don’t care what I’m doing as long as I’m learning something new about the animals I’ve been fascinated with since I was a child. It’s funny seeing the individuals that I remember seeing on my first trip out here. I love seeing them growing up and seeing new babies being born. I’m starting to recognize individuals faster and I’m learning more about their personalities.

I went out on the poop scoop boat for the second time yesterday and had a pretty awesome encounter with J33, Keet. J33 is a twelve year old male who is just beginning to sprout the tall dorsal fin that distinguishes mature male from female. We were following him in his footprints, the calm water left behind after they pump their flukes, looking for fecal material or scales left behind from a salmon kill. We were looking in front of the bow in hopes of seeing his next surfacing when he popped up with a loud whoosh about two feet away from me. This took us all completely by surprise and, being that we were all girls, we definitely let out some surprised screams. Orcas are sensitive to sound and appear to enjoy human vocalizations. I think he was pretty intrigued by our shouts and laughter and he circled the boat on his side about four feet from the surface as if to investigate our strange noises. I could literally look straight down in the water and see the white of his eye patch. I couldn’t help but wonder what Keet was thinking as he looked back up at me. I wanted to give him another sound to see how he’d respond, but I felt it was more important to suppress my newbie excitement and maintain some degree of professionalism. He stayed with us for a little while until his curiosity was satisfied and then took off to meet back up with his mom and little sister, J42. I have a name suggestion for J42, who will receive a name at the end of the summer, and I’d like to call her Marley. She really pretty, with a nice open saddle patch, and I think she deserves a pretty name. Not to mention, I think Bob Marley music is a perfect soundtrack for the whales. Something about them has a way of bringing people together, just like Bob Marley’s music. His themes were of love and peace and getting people to come together through their love of music. Here, the whales promote many of the same emotions through their close family groups and fascinating underwater lives. I always knew I loved the whales and that they’d be a part of my life, I just didn’t know they’d have such a profound impact on me.

I’m not giving up on law school or anything like that, I’m just realizing that maybe I have more options than I initially thought. I’ve never questioned my goals and where I’m going in life, but I guess the best way to figure out who you are and where the heck you’re going is to stop and notice the forks in the road, even if one of the paths isn’t paved.

I leave for Boise on Tuesday and I hope that time with family and sharing stories will help me figure out what’s going on in my head. Is this normal???

Superpod!

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself."

~ Alan Alda ~

My past few whale encounters have been amazing, especially our June 3 trip! I saw my first superpod, which is when Js, Ks, and Ls all get together and hang out. It was so incredible to see so many animals swimming together. Everywhere I looked there were orcas! The sea was basically exploding with them. I can't really contain my excitement when I'm around the whales, it really reaffirms that I'm doing the right thing and I'm in the right place. There was even a new baby in the group, K42, who appears to belong to K14. The baby is so cute, little, and orange. haha. All baby orcas are orangeish yellow, which is believed to be like jaundice. (Pretty interesting.) I really love learning more about the orcas and hope to one day do some sort of marine research trip. It's really hard to figure out what I want because I love this type of work, the lifestyle is the only thing keeping me from doing something with the whales as a career. Many of the researchers I've met have a transient lifestyle and really don't spend too much time in one place. I like feeling grounded and having a place to call mine, but it'd be pretty incredible to travel the world learning about marine life. I'm a bit torn, but I still feel like becoming an attorney is my calling. However, I'm realizing now that maybe these animals could eventually become more than a hobby to me. I would like to help the researchers here if possible. I really want to see them from a research perspective as opposed to the tourist perspective. I like my job, but I want to learn more about them so I can be better equipped to teach people about them. I really don't care what they would have me do, as long as I can be a part of it! (Even if that means just hanging out at a computer and identifying individuals. I'm gonna work on possibly helping with research and I'll keep you posted with how that goes.

Our whole crew is here now: me, Jaclyn, Jackie, Ashley, and Sarah. I think we all compliment each other well and I look forward to making friends with similar interests as I have. I'm not used to being around people who understand what I'm passionate about and it's a nice change of pace to have people who get excited over the same things.

It won't be long until grandma and grandpa's anniversary and I can't wait to see everyone and meet family I've never seen. I really think I'm learning a lot about myself and look forward to sharing my personal discoveries with everyone! Until next time....