Something Worth Fighting For

Below: A Southern Resident Orca. According to the Center for Whale Research, she is a member of J Pod, the first group of orcas I saw in the wild. "Too many times we stand aside and let the waters slip away, till what we put off till tomorrow has now become today. So don't you sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied. Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tides."

I guess it's pretty fair to say that I'm addicted to this blog and I hope my posts are enjoyable. It's amazing the catharsis that takes place by writing your thoughts down. It's nice to write your feelings down and then let them go... something I'm learning to do more and more everyday.

I decided to post a little more about my job. People get quite curious when I explain what I will be doing and tend to ask a lot of questions. I decided that I will clear up those questions and give more details now. I was hired by San Juan Safaris http://www.sanjuansafaris.com/ beginning of February as a Naturalist/First Mate on their whale watching tours. In case you are unfamiliar with orca whales, they were made famous through parks like Sea World and the Free Willy movies. I happen to dislike their common name of Killer Whale, being a PR major has taught me how important our words are and the images they communicate. They received the name "Killer Whale" from Spanish whalers who witnessed transient orcas feeding on baleen whales. The actual translation was "Whale Killers," but we confused that a while ago. Now, this doesn't make them cuddly little puppies by any means. To answer a common question, NO. I will not be swimming with, training, or feeding the whales. I am simply going to be giving information and answering questions about the whales and their environment during a guided trip to watch them in their natural habitat. I may go on a few kayak trips for fun to get more up close and personal though. No, orcas don't eat people. As far as I know, the only attacks orcas have made on people have been when they are stressed in captivity. People have been kayaking with these whales for years and according to my research, nobody has been eaten to date. LOL.


Another common question I get is, "How big are these whales?" They range from 16-26 ft long (males being larger than females) and weigh in between 5 - 8 tonnes. They are one of the fastest marine predators and can reach speeds of up to 35 mph, which is almost as fast as a galloping horse. While orcas have one of the widest habitat ranges of any marine creature, the whales I will be working with are special in that their migration habits are much more predictable. These whales have lived in their family groups, called pods, near San Juan Island for centuries and this predictability was preyed upon by marine parks in the 60s, 70s, and even into the early 80s. This greatly disrupted the family units of these whales, which are quite close. In fact, these whales never leave their mothers... something my mom could really appreciate. haha. Since live captures have been prohibited, their population has increased, but their plight has gained national attention. They recently were put on the Endangered Species list and the government, with the support and cooperation of companies like San Juan Safaris, is now working to protect their major food source: salmon. Orcas display some of the highest toxin levels recorded, which poses a threat to their continued survival. My job will be to teach people about the whales and the problems they face in hopes of fostering a sense of environmental concern, not only for the orcas of Puget Sound, but for the creatures in our guests' own back yards. This really reinforces my desire to go law school. The law is all about protecting things like freedom of speech, public safety, the right to vote, and even a small group of whales in Puget Sound. Robert Redford stated it quite nicely when he said, "I think the environment should be put in the category of our national security. Defense of our resources is just as important as defense abroad. Otherwise what is there to defend?"

I'm very excited for the opportunity to learn more about the whales I have loved since I was a kid. This will be a great experience, and although I will miss home, I'm really hoping to have it become a bit of a soul searching time for me. I will be posting videos and pictures from my experiences on the island on this blog... so stay in touch!

I recently found housing on the island and am looking forward to living with some cool roomies. I'm also pleased to find that there are quite a few horses on the island, so when I start to get barn withdrawals, I'll be able to ride... for a small fee of course. Please let me know if you have questions about my job. I would love for family and friends to come visit me. If you would like to go on a whale watch, let me know because I might be able to get you a discount! =)

"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children." ~ Native American Proverb

Yes, I am a Tigress

"She had a Tiger's heart wrapped in a woman's hide." ~ Shakespeare
I was searching the web tonight with my mom to figure out if she is the rat in the Chinese Zodiac... come to find out she's a rabbit, so I guess she ruined my attempt to find something to tease her about. Either way, I found out that I am a Tiger... and it really couldn't be more purrfect. Here is the site description of a Tiger:

Tigers are rebels. They are both colorful and unpredictable. Their energy and love of life are stimulating. They love being the center of attention and never go unnoticed. Tigers are impatient and always look for action.They speak their minds when upset and have suspicious natures.

But in spite of their quick tempers, they are sincere, generous and very affectionate. They also possess a great sense of humor. Tigers like people, involvement,and dedication to humanitarian causes. They seek out adventures, and at certain points in their lives, they will be very rebellious. They must act out some of their ideals and lash out at the wrongs of society. Tigers are so daring that they acquire many admirers. Those who disapprove of what Tigers do still will secretly admire Tigers for their actions.

When Tigers are injured they need all-out sympathy. Logic does not appeal to them. They want to be comforted. They will listen sincerely to the advice you give, and then do exactly as they please. Since they have a lot of spunk, no matter how down and out they get,they never give up. They can always start over again.

People born during the year of the Tiger have super egos. Tread lightly and don't hurt their feelings. They may never forgive you! Tigers are romantic, passionate, and playful. They are also extremely jealous and possessive. If they do not learn to control their emotions, they could cause themselves much trouble. The lives of Tigers are full of emotional situations, but they love it that way. They love life and want to live it to the fullest.

Optimistic, Tigers always bounce back for new and fresh challenges. Tigers are very generous with rewards when you have pleased them. Being delightful hosts, Tigers go all-out to see that you have a good time. They are intense individuals, especially when upset and angry, but Tigers are famous for their ability in influencing others and swaying crowds.

What are you?

Plans... and Back Up Plans

This is a pic from the San Juan Islands that I took on my first visit... it gives me something to look forward to.
"And I know that it's a wonderful world but i cant feel it right now. I thought I was doing well but I just want to cry now. Well I know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea, but I can only see when you're here, here with me." ~ James Morrison, Wonderful World

Yesterday I found out my LSAT score. 158. That number now sticks to me like smoke to a jacket. I felt like I had done everything to prepare for the test, yet I can't help but wondering what went so wrong? I have been assured that 158 is a great score and it will get me into the majority of the schools I want to apply to when coupled with my GPA. However, I still can't help this sinking feeling of despair in my heart. I realize that I am blessed (see previous post), but it's just painful to think that sometimes the best isn't enough. It's difficult to think that I will be judged based on a number when I've worked so hard to be where I am. I realize that friends and family are proud of me... but why don't I feel proud? I feel sick, like I got punched in the gut and can't get my breath back. I never understood the cliche, "It was like being hit with a ton of bricks," until I opened the e-mail and saw the big 158. I suppose if I knew this was my best I would be pleased, but this is well below my average test scores and I can't help but feel cheated. According to the report I am in the 75th percentile. Is that good enough? Could I have done something different? Read a question more carefully? Taken more prep tests? Taken a logic course? These questions have haunted my quiet time and I have yet to answer one of them. I guess sometimes things don't go as planned. But it's still difficult not to continue planning. It's like how people say when they're dating someone that they aren't planning on any sort of future with them. They're just having fun in the moment. But if this is the case then why date? Why not just have fun? When people commit to a relationship, aren't they hedging their bets that it will work out in the long run? I know dating and testing are different, but there is still the feeling of minor heartbreak when they don't go as anticipated. I really hoped to get a UCLA worthy score, and although I am still going to apply, it hurts to think I may end up at the bottom of their pile. It hurts to feel rejected; even if it's self-rejection of some sort. I know this is no indicator of the type of attorney or student I will be, but I just wish it would have went differently. For now I'm going to take everyone's advice and put it in God's hands. I'm hurt and angry, not at the test or the admission process, trust me that would feel much better. I'm just mad at myself. I know I had potential to do better and not realizing my full potential has never sat well with me. I guess I will let it hurt for a little while and move on. I'm sure I will look back on this and laugh that I made it such a big deal, just like many past break-ups, but that doesn't change that it sucks in the moment and that it's a big deal right now.

I'm sorry if this was a depressing post, but I just want you to know how I feel. The deepest human defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become. I guess I'm just promising myself that this test won't become me; it will only make me stronger.

"Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses." ~ Dale Carnegie

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

~ John 14:1-3 ~

Daddy's Girl

Me and Dad: Mom caught us while we were playing in one of our many tents when I was somewhere around 1yr old. Time flies, or so my parents say.

Today was nice because I got to spend time with my dad, just the two of us. We watched Ellen, went to feed Dancer an apple, and ate at Pastrami Joe's in Marshall. It was nice to hang out and talk about our favorite things: competition; cool places to visit; Dancer; and our favorite racehorse, Secretariat. Dad surprised me at lunch with a little list he wrote down this morning about big events/trips in my life. I thought it was pretty cool and decided to recreate it in my blog:

Megan's Trips/Adventures/Accomplishments:

1986 - Megan arrived on the scene @ 9:55 p.m. on July 24th (after weeks of anticipation)

1987 - Megan travels out to Portland, Oregon; Vancouver, British Colombia; and Montana to visit her mom's side of the family

1988 - Megan visits Hawaii with her parents and Auntie Jenn. She visits Oahu, Kauai, and the Big Island. Megan even goes on her first whale watch and is fascinated by the humpback whales as well as searching for shells and rocks on the beach.

1990 - Megan goes to Disney World in Orlando. She enjoys feeding ducklings and meeting the Disney characters. She is not a fan of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and also suffers from her first and only major sunburn. She also visits Sea World of Ohio for the first time and claims she will one day be a marine biologist. Megan begins gymnastics at Branch Gymnastics this year.

1991- Megan visits Disneyland and Los Angeles. She complains about the traffic and gets sick from what she claims to be her Aunt Jeleen's awful driving.

1992 - Megan's little brother Michael is born @ 11:33 a.m. on November 22. Megan also visits her grandparents in Vancouver, WA.

1993 - Megan and family go to Mall of America in Minnesota. Megan rides her first roller coaster and keeps begging to go on it. She also loves panning for gold at Knott's Camp Snoopy in the mall. Megan takes a trip to Mackinac Island with her family and her mom's parents. She gets very upset when she learns she is too short to ride a horse by herself around the island.

1994 - Megan celebrates her 8th birthday by going on her first Orca whale watch on a Zodiac boat in Victoria. She is excited about the whales and picks her favorite one, J-1 (also known as Ruffles). Megan also is excited to see a 1yr old baby whale named Polaris. She enjoys a family reunion with her mom's family near Cannon Beach, OR. She becomes closer with her cousin Pete, but is very upset when he throws her pet sand crabs into the bonfire.

1996 - Megan visits her mom's parents in Vancouver, WA all by herself. She spends the time tending to grandpa's garden, visiting Keiko from Free Willy, and seeing Mount St. Helens with her grandma and Great Grandpa Walter. That summer, Megan watches the United States Women's Gymnastics Team win its first gold medal in Atlanta and dreams of going to the Olympics.

1997 - Megan competes in the Silver State Gymnastics meet and meets Tatiana Gutsu, the 1992 Olympic Women's Gymnastics All-around gold medalist. Megan also visits family in LA and goes to Disneyland for the second time. She enjoys the submarine ride the best.

1998 - Megan visits Mammoth Cave and the Kentucky Horse Park. Megan sees Bold Forbes, a half brother of Secretariat and poses with the Secretariat memorial. She officially quits gymnastics due to prolonged wrist and ankle injuries.

1999 - Megan becomes more serious about riding horses and buys RR Raindance Roamer, a 9yr old Pinto Gelding who had never been shown competitively, but simply worked as a local woman's trail horse.

2000 - Megan and family go to Orlando and see Disney World, Sea World, and swim with the dolphins at Discovery Cove. She continues to believe that she will grow up to work with dolphins. Megan and Dancer go to their first county fair and win multiple classes. They improve as a team and begin to learn how to ride western style. Up until this point, they only competed in Hunt Seat classes since Megan liked English riding and jumping best.

2001 - The Youngs go to the Wisconsin Dells to visit Noah's Ark, the world's largest water park. Megan, her mom, and Michael also visit Boise, ID for spring break to see Grandma and Grandpa Fish's new house. Megan competes with Dancer at the fair again and after winning many classes develops ambitions to show at bigger shows on the National Pinto Circuit.

2003 - Megan and family go to Paradise Island in the Bahamas to spend spring break at Atlantis. They go deep sea fishing and catch a 54" Dolphin Fish. They also visit Blue Lagoon Island to have a dolphin encounter with the stars from the movie Flipper. Meanwhile, Dancer spends 30 days with Garth Gooding learning how to adjust his speed to spurs. Megan continues this training in hopes of going to the 2004 Pinto World Championship.

2004 - Megan graduates from Lakeview High School with a 4.0. She declares that she will attend Grand Valley State University in the fall. The day after graduation she and her parents take Dancer on an 18hr trip to Tulsa, Oklahoma to compete in the Pinto World Championship. Here they win a World Championship in Western Pleasure and compete in 14 events winning Reserve All-Around High Point overall and 4 Reserve World Championships. Dancer had never been to such a big show and was one of the oldest entries there at age 14 (according to the final show statistics). Megan and Dancer competed against the horse that won overall high point in the entire show across all the divisions, a feat she never thought they'd accomplish when she saw him in the pasture for the first time in 1999.

2005 - Megan goes to Alabama to watch the Grand Valley State Laker Football Team with its 3rd National Championship in 4 years. She came home for break to get her tonsils removed and then went to New York City for New Year's celebrations with friends from college.

2006 - Megan visits her grandparents in Boise, ID for spring break, where she learns how to snowboard at Bogus Basin. Megan goes to the San Juan Islands with her dad to celebrate her 20th birthday by kayaking and going on a whale watch with San Juan Safaris. She is pleased to see J-1 and Polaris again and states her desire to work for San Juan Safaris one day. Megan also returns to Alabama to see Grand Valley's football team win another National Championship.

2007 - Megan goes to Orlando for spring break and sees Disney World, goes to the beach, shops, and goes to Cirque de Soliel with a friend. She attends the Kentucky Derby with her mom and bets on Street Sense, the winner, resulting in her winning over $75. Megan also goes to Key West over the summer and goes shopping, deep sea fishing, and snorkeling. On December 8, Megan graduates from Grand Valley in 3.5 years with a 3.96 overall GPA. She decided to begin studying for the LSAT.

2008 - Megan takes the LSAT on February 2 and is hired by San Juan Safaris to be a Naturalist for the 2008 summer season. She will apply to UCLA, Loyola Marymount, and Pepperdine law schools in the fall after moving to LA with her aunt and uncle.

It was pretty crazy to see all the things I've accomplished and been a part of in my 21 years. I am so blessed with my family, friends, and all the opportunities I've been given. Sometimes I think it's easy to get lost in the mundane and day-to-day work, but looking back on everything I've been given it makes complaining impossible. I've experienced difficult times and situations where I wanted to give up, but having a supportive and loving family has made everything relatively easy for me. I thank God every day for putting the right people and opportunities in my life and I hope the blessings continue.

I plan to have a day like I had with my dad with my little brother in the near future. He's getting so big and excelling academically and in soccer. I'll really miss going to his games when I leave. Tonight I plan to visit my friend Khalil, who I went to New York with, to see him at his law school. He is like an older brother and I look forward to spending time with him, sharing stories, and getting advice. Until next time...

"Let me warn you right from the start that my heart belongs to daddy and my daddy belongs to my heart."

Things'll Never be the Same

Today was one of those days where you're thankful to be alive. That's right. I faced death today. It all began as I was getting ready to meet my friend Kelly from high school for lunch at one of my fav restaurants, Nina's (a little Mexican place downtown). I just stepped out of the shower and was putting lotion on when I saw "it." Its huge, streamlined, brown body was filled with deadly toxins. It was waiting for me to make a wrong move so it could dine on my blood. Chills ran up my spine as I pondered what to do: run? scream? cry? Poor Lance ran into my room when he heard me screaming and he tried to valiantly eat the beast. I couldn't let Lance sacrifice his life for me so I did it. I killed it. I threw a bottle of nail polish at and and it shriveled up into a pile of legs. I had to take a picture of the killer spider so that my friends and family would believe me when I told them the story. I'll be the first to admit, I have a fear of spiders. In fact, I'm probably more afraid of spiders than sharks (well sharks of the smaller variety). I Googled all there is to know about spiders this afternoon and found that, on average, a person is within 6ft of a spider at all times!!!!!! Awful. I realize that they have their place in nature and whatnot, but really? Six feet away??? Is there any other deadly creature that is so near to us? Either way, I called my mom and Travis to tell them about my near death experience and Travis said, "Poor spider." Poor spider? Poor Megan. I actually had to pick it up and flush it so that it wouldn't kill Lance.

I ended up meeting Kelly on time, but I have felt spiders crawling on me all day. I'm just worried that the above mentioned creature's family will have their revenge on me tonight. Did I mention I found it in my room? Anyway, it was nice to see Kell again and hear all about old friends and what they're up to. It's always crazy to hear when people I went to school with are getting married and having kids. (It's especially weird when you dated said parent.) I guess it just makes me feel old to think that everyone is growing up around me and I'm still afraid of little spiders. It kind of reminds me of that quote from the Wonder Years, remember that show? It goes something like, "Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up."

This is a pic of me and some girlfriends at my Senior Prom. It's funny how the people you think will be your friends forever, usually aren't. And the people you see as being in your life for a moment end up staying a while.

"Come on, let's go find that spider. And let's find your mom to take care of that spider. Honey, we're in the living room. We need you to kill a spider." ~ Arachnophobia

A Very Merry Un-Valentine's

Left: Walter the Groundhog, my V-day gift.

Below: Me and Travis in our V-day best at the Melting Pot... weird angle, but that's all we got.

I drove up to Grand Valley this weekend to celebrate Valentine's Day with Travis... little did I know how intense the celebration was going to be. I have often said that my life should be made into a sitcom and our Valentine's Day confirmed this thought. I was thrilled to go to the Melting Pot (one of my fav restaurants) with Travis, and he made reservations weeks in advance. We exchanged Build-a-Bears (I gave him a dog and he gave me a groundhog because his b-day is on groundhog's day). It may seem a bit corny, but we wanted to get each other something affordable that would remind us of the other person, so Build-a-Bears it was. I special ordered a cute little black dress and Travis wore his super dressy suit. Everything was perfect, it was like prom all over again... and then it happened. Travis, being the nice guy that he is, offered to warm up my car so I wouldn't freeze on the way to dinner in my dress. Little did we know that when he got out of the car my car would decide to lock itself while running with the keys in the ignition. Smooth. I recently got an alarm system installed in the car and apparently it locks itself once the ignition is started. So I made a frantic call to AAA while my car was getting nice and warm, wasting gas, and not allowing anyone in. After an hour the wrecker showed up and unlocked my car. Needless to say, Travis drove to Melting Pot. In the end we had a great day, despite my car's ruthless attempt to ruin our time. We missed our reservations, but the Melting Pot staff was nice enough to give us new reservations and got us right in. The chocolate dessert made up for any of the night's shortcomings.

Ultimately you learn that sometimes things don't go as planned, but as long as you still have the people with you that you care about it's easier to enjoy (or at least live through) the bumps.

Making Music

This picture is from the Key West Cemetery. I thought this angel was pretty eerie and had to take a pic. I think it turned out unexpectedly beautiful and decided to post it.
I was sick of looking at the same post over and over so I decided to post a poem I wrote almost a year ago (hard to believe how time flies) for my Life Journey class at Grand Valley. I am not one for writing poetry, I prefer to write little fictions, but I actually liked this poem beyond its value as an assignment and decided to post it. Hopefully it has some applications to your life too:

Making Music

Isn’t life a funny thing?
In constant search of what may bring?
Always yearning for more of the good and less of the sting

Looking back on my time here
I wonder if I have brought them cheer
I wonder if I have laughed, cried, and done too much… or not enough, I fear

I look inside myself, into all that is me
I see a sister, a daughter, a friend, but no guarantee
You see life is fragile, and you can’t disagree

The only thing that we can be sure
Is we’ll never be put through something we cannot endure
They’re all meant to help us grow, help us mature

Life is a road on which we all travel
Sometimes it is paved, and other times gravel
All you can do is keep it together, try not to unravel

Sometimes you have to go through the worst to get to the best
Sometimes you have to weather the storm to appreciate the test
And in the end, you will realize you’re blessed

We really don’t know what we’ll get tomorrow
Sometimes joy and sometimes sorrow
Sometimes we’re looking for more time to borrow

Because in the end we don’t have enough time
We don’t want to stop, want to finish the climb
We’ll want to quit being silent, no longer a mime

So speak up and step out
It’s time to believe in yourself and forget all the doubt
It’s time to grow up, but you must first let yourself sprout

I’m sick of going through life without surprises or change
Sick of all the meaningless social exchange
Sick of the unwritten rules, of playing the game

I can’t move forward always looking behind
If I focus on the past it will render me blind
I must live in the moment, past and future combined

I want to draw from the power of my own soul
I want to reach for the sky, for my own goal
In order to get to the diamond, you must first begin with the coal

The process might hurt
But don’t allow yourself to divert
You are a key instrument in the final concert

The question is… will you allow yourself to make music?