Droplets

I'm leaving you. I'm not sure if that’s what I should do. It hurts so bad. I'm wanting you but can't go back. Trying to find that all elusive peace of mind. Stuck here somehow, shrouded beneath my fear and doubt. And I don’t need it 'cuz I'm walkin down this road alone and figured all I'm thinking bout is you. And my head is in a cloud of rain, and the world it seems so far away, and I'm just waiting for the droplets. Droplets to fall. You left a mark. I wear it proudly on my chest above my heart to remind me that I feel the best when I'm with you. When I'm with you, to me everything is effortless. You know it's true... So I'm just waiting on the droplets, the droplets to fall. ~ Colbie Caillat, Droplets

This weekend was Travis's last with me before I move. It's so weird that I leave tomorrow. I've been packing and planning, but no matter how prepared you feel, it's impossible to prepare to leave the people you love.

Some of my fondest memories of Travis are when he would sit on his bed and play the guitar for me. He's in the process of making me a CD with our favorite songs of him playing the guitar and singing along. I'm really excited to hear it when he sends it out... apparently it's a big work in progress. In the meantime, Travis bought me a really pretty opal ring (to the right) as a "remember me when you're gone" type gift. Opal is the birthstone of October, the month we began dating. We thought it would make a perfect gemstone for the centerpeice of the ring. Opals are said to enhance insight and dispel fears. The word "opal" was derived from the Greek word "opallus," which means to see a change in color… which I believe really demonstrates this stage in my life. Many things are changing, and change can be frightening and somehow all together beautiful. Our lives are in a constant state of flux: economies fall; we get old; we declare war; we fight for peace; nations die; nations rise; but one thing remains constant: family and love.

It was really difficult to say goodbye to Travis. We've only dated for five months and it's scary to think that we won't see each other for another four months. My only regret in dating Travis is that we didn't date sooner. No matter what we're doing, whether it's watching a movie, taking a road trip, or doing absolutely nothing, we still have a great time. It's nice to be with someone who's considerate and knows how to have fun. I'm really looking forward to Travis visiting me in the islands for my birthday. He hasn't been to the west coast and I'd like to show him the places that I've loved since I was little. Again, we know this is going to be hard and it will take a lot of work, but I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't try.

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."